| |
Of late, I haven't felt the urge to post on Xanga. I wouldn't point fingers but I know the moment it changed and left me slightly bitter for a short period of time. Instead, I've turned to my own personal pen'n'notebook journaling, starting up in a new, blank Moleskine cahier. Between it and writing letters, I've kept occupied and temporarily satisfied... despite the fact I'm use to communication with others far from my reach. I'm use to sharing pieces of me everywhere, splattered in short spurts.
It was Katana's little blip back into the world which caught my eye and I decided to eventually fall back in line here. I cannot hide forever and only from one mean-spirited individual.
June is done and so is my daily letter writing project. A new writing project is in the works and I'm hammering out the guidelines to it. The month-long assignment I gave myself showed several details which leads into my new letter-writing deal. Some days, I struggled to pen a few sentences sufficient enough for a mini letter, and other days, I slipped into my flow naturally, popping off three or four letters within two hours.
Therefore, I decided on an open-ended project. I have a goal to write 5000 letters. I'm going to number them as I write them and keep track in my journal. There is no deadline. Every time I get the overwhelming feeling when I realize how far I am from my goal, I calm my heartbeat and remind myself it's a slow'n'steady project with no ending any time soon. I should enjoy it. I can write whenever I want with no pressure. Let the feeling of achievement hit my chest as I number the back of each letter. Let's face it: my life isn't interesting all the bloody time. I write a lot but it doesn't mean a lot of people find it witty, engaging or even remotely funny. *shrug* I'm going to need to remind myself when the school semester starts in September. I don't want to fall behind because I lost the habit. It could take me another two years before I get back into it regularly. (Yup. I've been off the letter-writing wagon before.) I'm also crossing my fingers when it hits November when I attempt the NaNoWriMo again. (Are there any karate tournaments that month? Unsure. Will check.)
So.... onward! Again.
Eventually, I registered for two courses in the autumn semester and waiting to register a third. I accumulated a list and narrowed it down to a introductory sociology course, based on how it fit my schedule. I'm curious about the world and I love learning but I can't help feeling a little lost and murky about my future. I have a steadying focus from karate but I don't plan to be a professional athlete - nowhere close to that.
Where will I end up?
I'm also stuck with the the troublesome mess from my brother's end. I haven't paid for any of the courses yet. I'm banking on my brother's attitude and behaviour in August. If he falls into a hissy fit of some sort, I'll drop school and continue working. The back-up plan is a possibility of online courses but I need to figure out the Blackboard CE system thing. (They have on campus orientations available. I've marked them down.) I'm crossing my fingers and hoping against hope everything will turn out well. If he seems relatively normal and in good mood, I'll go to school. *sigh* I can't let my brother's actions run my life but I can't exactly escape him either. I'm playing with the cards dealt to me. What else can one do? (Besides wish for a reshuffle, of course.)
I'm pondering the programs. There are three possibilities: Library & Info Tech (In short, teacher-librarian. Why? I love the library and I'm use to researching, looking up bits of information all the time. I can easily imagine myself in one 40 hours a week.), Publishing (my first choice from the get-go in Grade 12) and Journalism (although there are probably better Journalism programs elsewhere). There is also an Associate of Arts Degree in Creative Writing - another potential but unsure if I really need it.
I'm chewing at the bit about it.
For a short while, I thought about going into massage therapy because everyone keeps asking me if I've ever thought about it. I'm good at massages and they appreciate my fingers. I just don't know any massage therapy schools in Vancouver. I'd have to go through the whole hassle of figuring out whether the tuition for massage therapy (and license) is worth the income I could potentially raise within the first five years of coming out of school. Eh.
Choices. Choices. Choices.
Where am I going to end up?
The future is a black abyss.
|
| | Posted 7/3/2009 4:43 AM - 20 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
