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Inspired by pius729's blip about his career changes and professional experience, I feel an extra jolt to decisively pick a path and follow it through, to obtain my long-term goals and to reflect upon the type of person I am to fit in today's modern world. I am keen on the Journalism program but I do not have the time to dedicate to it just yet. I am still aiming for the National Karate Championships and every so often, I realize this goal isn't as far off as I thought. I've been going to karate regularly (not a surprise) but I'm giving the extra effort and staying after for more practice. I make time to ask a black belt for guidance and suggestions for improvements. I ask other people to practice with me if I need a partner. This December, I'm trying for my blue belt - another step closer. (Of course, I would still sign up when the Nationals come to Vancouver, mentally and physically prepared or not. It's an experience not to be missed. The Nationals are taking place in Toronto next year though. I think.) But I digress. Essentially, it triggered me to rethink my positions and whether I want to stay where I am at. I need constant reaffirmations or I'll lose my nerve. I know that. Reassurance. It's why I repeat this subject so often, to my friends, to strangers... to myself.
I choose to hold my education back a little because I know no matter what I do, physically, I will deteriorate. My mind will remain sharp. It shrinks at a slower pace. I want to complete my karate business first. I absolutely love school and accumulating knowledge but post secondary institutions and libraries will always be available. But I want my career now. It's a tentative balance, working it all out in a mental scale. I'm in no hurry to 'make it big' and I've thought about it - how much value does 'making it big' have to me? How do I define personal and professional success? Money? Prestige? Power? Popularity? The answers are for myself and I examine them occasionally. I want to fall head-on into the student life of endless books and classes but karate and work hampers my schedule. I wonder if I am ok with these choices and when I consider my priorities, I accept the stipulations which comes with them. ... it doesn't mean I don't rage about them. But I accept them.
I am getting there.
I don't exactly remember how I stumbled upon the blog Life of Pi but I think it was through ko0ty's Twitter. The first entry I read was one about 'Done Out Nammer Moms' and it amused me enough, I read it over the phone to Midget. We cracked up because we know pius729 describes exactly how Midget's mom's friends are like. She cannot deny it! Hahaha....
Once in a while, I catch a grammatical or spelling error but otherwise, I enjoy his writing. It's one of the three reasons why the blog is bookmarked in my toolbar. I haven't figured out if it goes into the 'miscellaneous reading' folder since I don't actually check up on it. I visit every so often and backtrack. The other reason is because it's titled Life of Pi. I read the book in high school. I picked it up because I liked the cool tiger image on the cover and tigers are one of my favourite animals. In it contained an awesome adventure and my favourite chapter. Roughly two years later, I find out the book is on a suggested reading list for an English course at UBC. One of my friends asked me for a summary but I barely remembered it. He wanted the nitty gritty to avoid reading but I was useless to him. The only one thing I knew was Chapter 56 and the fact it was about fear. I also didn't realize the animals represented people in Pi's life - d'oh. There was a deeper meaning to it all... and I took it in as a fantastical fictional novel. Oh well...
I apologize to my dedicated readers and friends for not updating regularly. Since mid-September, I feel there has been a reason or what-not for clubbing/party/get-together on my weekends. Work, party, sleep. Work, chill, sleep. Life remains slightly hectic and it can only get worse with crunch time. My feet are aching from last night but only because I worked, training a new person for half of my shift, and then off to the Christmas cocktail party for work. I loved it. My coworkers rule, especially when hammered. It was a huge influx of hot girls, hot gay guys, hot gay waiters and the occasional straight guy at Moxie's on Davie. Everyone screeched and danced while on wine. People from my team went to the Odyssey, even though Licka wanted to go to Republic for some reggaeton. But in her condition, she was already dancing on the streets so it didn't exactly matter where she went. My manager rocks. I love her. Hahaha... I, on the other hand, went home after the dinner though. I was worn-out and I was wearing a glam black dress with a short train. I cannot dance without falling out (despite the miracle of booby tape) or holding the back of my dress in one hand. It was also skintight in a slinky way - unfavourable indeed.
Temporary freedom (the winter break) is just around the corner but to achieve this sweet satisfaction, I need to cross the upcoming obstacles, my Final Exams. I will leave my tentative schedule for December for those who want to slip in and catch me for a cup of steaming flavoured milk or hot chocolate. I will try to update in between social events, letter writing, work and karate. Until then, maybe read up on Life of Pi, both the book and the blog. <<Enjoy! 
December 2009
12/01 - chilling with Magic J
12/02 - dojo's monthly meeting after karate
12/05 - someone's go-away party w/ Cyborg (???)
12/06 - mandatory holiday staff meeting
12/07 - Sociology Final Exam, sushi dinner w/ former theatre coworkers (??? - confirm)
12/08 - Bright Nights at Stanley Park w/ Lollipop, Sangarita, Tengers & Ms. PJ (???)
12/10 - doctor's appointment w/ friend (support)
12/12 - dojo's annual Christmas party
12/13 - Zone 5 Qualifying Karate Tournament, Brie Brie's birthday dinner & clubbing afterward
12/15 - Art History Final Exam
12/16 - karate belt test (blue!!!)
12/19 - late birthday clubbing celebration for Lollipop & one of her nursing friends
Thankfully, I do not have a Final Exam for Journalism 1100. Instead, we wrote a Final Essay and handed it in last week. YES! The events look bare but it doesn't include the tedious cluttering details of work, school and karate. They are pretty routine. This week is the last week of in-class lectures. Lollipop and I are going to study our ass off for our Final Exams. Brain strain. Oy.
There are a couple of other things on my to-do list which I'm not sure where to slot them in. Pacific Centre mall is going to be insane and I foresee the shifts piling up when my availability opens up. It's money but am I going to be too bloody tired to do the fun stuff? Eh. Throw some food in my belly and I might be up for almost anything. I'll survive. *thumbs up*
stuff I want to do but when do I do them...
- visit Cubby and take him out on a walk (possibly in scrubby clothes so he can jump all over me - 1 time deal)
- dinner with the guys: combo celebration for Christmas and aluc4rd's birthday
- visit the annual gingerbead house competition held at the Hyatt on Burrard (photowalk w/ ckn?)
- write a piece on the Christmas party for the Karate BC newsletter (promote our awesomeness somehow!)
- check out the annual Christmas tree competition hosted at Canada Place (photowalk w/ ckn?)
- decide who and where I want to celebrate New Year's Eve
- decide whether I want to compete in the Steveston tournament and the Sato Cup touranment (gain experience vs. time limitations)
  
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Mild Headache: short'n'sweet, please
I like lists. I like numbers. I was suppose to update two nights ago but my internet connection went on the kaputz and I ended up saving jotted notes on some random post-it note. (Obviously, I'm a dedicated blogger at heart.)
1. I received botolf's letter this week! Yay! I will reply. Expect in a month or two.
2. On Wednesday, Sensei #2 showed us take-down techniques to practice and use in the ring if we choose. Essentially, it should be for.. two points? Unsure. Backside was sore.
3. After karate training on Thursday, I practiced those same techniques with Katana. Backside remains sore.
4. I decided I'm going for the Journalism program instead of the Publishing program after my Intro to Media course and reading my college's newspaper. I thought to myself ..oO(I can write that. Hell, I could probably do a better job. Maybe.) But I want to finish taking all of my miscellaneous courses first. I love learning.
<3 knowledge.5. This week, I made a second batch of brownies. It came out the way it was suppose to be. Everyone enjoyed them... but Lollipop preferred them in their semi-hard "cookie-like" format. Eh. Can't please everyone. 6. I also made a vanilla cake thing with mango chunks in it. I used frozen mango pieces because someone advised me to always use frozen fruit if possible to minimize squishing it in the batter during mixing. All the mango sunk to the bottom. *sad* 7. I'm finding myself checking my school e-mail more and more often. Should I begin using it as my primary one? I don't want to ditch my hotmail.... eh. Nah. 8. I'm a little peeved and upset about a blanket project but I will go into details another night. All I can say is it's a hard lesson for me to learn but now I know. 9. Is anyone else tired of hearing about Sarah Palin? I barely know who the hell she is but I recognize her face. I know she's an American, somewhat annoying, something with politics... and people think she's hot? Is there a Canadian equivalent? musing at workVQ: Licka, I like how, when I want to quit smoking, I take a nicorette gum. When you want to quit smoking, you run a marathon. This says a lot about your character...oO(Hahaha... indeed.)
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Casual Outings vs. Clubbing
I prefer my dork status, plain-faced and muscular. I wish I was more girly but sometimes, the unnecessary frills and loopy loops are a waste of time. Practicality makes life easier.
My head hurts.
My mind is out of it. I am dealing with a conversation I had with Brother dearest and I left in the middle of it because I needed to get to karate. It was nothing bad, just true communication. He tried to share his viewpoint and ... I do not know what came over me. Frustration built and I maintained patience but I worried about him too. He is not proud of some of the things he has done and his accomplishments are not exactly accomplishments. I do not know. I need to think some deep thoughts on my own. Having a sore throat infection restrains my verbal capabilities which is probably excellent timing.
I hate talking to my brother sometimes. Now, I don't know if he is depressed. Even listening to him talking on the phone to his friends upset me. His world is harsher than mine and I wish I did not know. I love my brother and he is a stronger individual than I. I acknowledge this. He has better business sense and he controls his environment to the best of abilities. He is generous... to his friends, his crew. He appreciates structure and thrives through his own. I love my brother and I like the personality and character he has built within himself despite the fact I do not like his choices nor approve of them. Now, I am left wondering if my severe judgment is partially what pushes him away, turns him off from opening up to me. I need to work on my listening skills. I feel like a foolish person who remains optimistic. The way he put it, I am selfish... and I have to acknowledge I am. I want to go to school to study in the future I want for myself. I want to work for money to spend on myself. I want to rise to the highest point I can in karate for my own self-esteem. He does not know this but I know what I want for myself... at least partially. I want to ditch my family. I want to ignore the naggings and lectures. I want to be on my own. I always want to run away from them and I feel guilty about this.
*sigh*
This was frivolous babbling. I talk too much. This is one of my problems. My head is turning round and round. At least I stopped crying within the first half hour of training. Thy body is utterly sore. Train train train.... I have to practice and polish myself up for the best test. Yes. Damn. I am going for the belt test this time, in December. Lollipop is making me. I was ready in the summer but I chickened out. Now, I have a month to prepare. Blue belt. Damn it.
Good luck to me.
...oO(Belt test. Belt test. Belt test. Belt test.)
I am more concerned about the belt test than I am about the Zone 5 tournament. And the tournament is before the belt test. Ack. I feel like my world is always full. Topsy turvy.
At the moment, I am at Lollipop's house, waiting for her to finish proofreading and editing her group project's paper. I am here to go through it and fix lousy sentence structures, grammar and alternative words for oft-repeated words or phrases. I came here right after karate... so I do not have anything beyond the basics: keys, wallet, cellphone. And my cellphone is dead. The next 2-3 months are all packed. I don't know why.
Maybe I'll write down my agenda in another entry as a filler post. *shrug*
Damn it. My head hurts. Is Lollipop done yet?
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Sunday Scribblings: Oracle
This is a little behind but I decided to go for it anyway. The first thought which struck me was the last in-depth novel I was severely drawn into: Black Ships by Jo Graham. The main character, Gull, is swept up in a series of events and lands herself as Pythia, the handmaiden to the Mistress of Death, queen to the Ruler of Hell. Traditions are broken due to extenuating circumstances and I have to admire her backbone and resilience. I finished more than a month ago but I vaguely remember the overall positive feeling I received from it. Segments of passages delighted me enough to warrant a spot in my agenda. I collect a number of quotations from it.
It is set in ancient Greece and Egypt, a time period I'm favouring because I'm learning about it in my current art history course. Certain symbolism makes more sense to me, even the mannerisms the characters take on, but it isn't by much. It's more of a fantastical story at most. The way it is written and portrayed reminds me of a heavily watered down version of The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley, which I loved to bits. Unfortunately, that Arthurian novel took a lot of out of me and I wasn't up to the task of reading its related novel, Lady of Avalon. I picked it up, read the first seven pages and then put it back down. My brain can only take so much.
But I digress.
Judge for yourself:
(Please note, I read the Mists of Avalon about three years ago or so, when I was still dating holy_judgment because I remember lugging the damn thing to his after-Kung Fu-training dinners. I remember ... enough. It's probably not the best comparison but it's what popped into my head.)
Currently, I'm reading Alhazred by Donald Tyson and The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova.
The first one, Alhazred, is not too bad. it's a bit unnerving with the reoccurring theme of cannibalism and the consumption of dead flesh. It's a fantasy adventure where the main character is punished and banished from the palace for sleeping with the king's youngest daughter and accidentally impregnating her. Within the first two chapters, with iron clamps, he is forced to eat the barbecued flesh of the stillborn fetus, his genitalia, his ears and his nose. The traumatized daughter watched the feeding of the fetus but the king and his guards took her away after that. Icky. The torturers sliced into his cheeks to create gaping holes and then sealed it with fire. His exile means being left in the desert with no clothes or water.
Unpleasant, indeed.
But for some reason and maybe by the turn of his luck, he survives it all somehow. This novel may not be for the faint-hearted but at least, during pivotal moments, I'm queasy at best. The rest is sugar-spun fiction with secret tombs and ancient tales of treasure beyond compare. The guy's quest is to seek knowledge and replace his body parts via necromancy. *shrug* Makes sense.
As for The Historian, it isn't my usual cup of tea. It's supposedly a great tale related to the historical figure Vlad the Impaler instead of the mythical figure Dracula. I decided to give it a shot because I have come across relatively decent reviews of it and my coworker McFlurry, a charming guy who loves art history and anthropology, has it as a favourite on Facebook. There have been restless nights where I decide to read a chapter or two before attempting to sleep again... only to be kept awake from the imagery given by this novel. It doesn't even encounter Vlad! It's all about letters and the father telling stories to the daughter about the circumstances surrounding the possible location of Vlad's true tomb but there's nothing directly related to Vlad himself yet! It's crazy. Almost like foreplay, leading to the climax... which I haven't discovered yet. Why am I affected? I'm not sure... but I know better than to read it at night before bed now. I love the way the words are constructed and the tale is drawn out. Very methodical. It's almost too slow for me but something about it keeps me hanging on instead of giving up.
In fact, the pace makes me think of a VHS movie I saw about five years ago in an art class at Main St. Education Center. My teacher was awesome! I loved him. He rocked as a teacher and encouraged our creativity. He asked us to be patience and while the movie is slow compared to the pace we are use to receiving information, it is worth it. And it was. Il Postino ("The Postman") was wonderful. I yawned a little bit here and there but I remain seated. The postman doesn't want to be a fisherman and takes up a position as a postman, delivering bags of fan mail to an exiled poet, Pablo Neruda. He asks the man to teach him to write poetry to win girls and thus starts the journey of discovery and the love of poetry. *grin* I like it. (Clicking on the link above will send you to the plot summary. Check it out)
I'm such a geeker, huh?
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1. Brain is mush.
2. I will write something soon, probably regarding the last Sunday Scribblings.
3. I baked brownies and I think the pan was too big for the batter. They are a bit more like flat, square cookies instead.... but tasty if somewhat crunchy.
4. My feet ache from clubbing this weekend.
5. My brain aches from working 8 hours Friday, Saturday and Sunday with minimal sleep in between due to birthdays.
6. I am crunching down on my schedule for school and karate.
7. Remember to drink green tea in the morning before leaving the house. Anti-oxidant + caffiene boost.
8. I still need a new travel mug for tea. (but fuck it - bring a regular cup and hope none of it spills)
9. I will be writing letters to Abe now. Yay! Another Xangan to the list. (I'm at 191th letter out of 5000. Wang thinks this project will take me 17 years and I think it'll take me maybe 20 years to complete because I keep skipping out. Originally, I was doing well - a letter a day. Now, I'm lazy or uninspired.)
10. Minimally disappointed by a guy again... but over that and onto new prey. Life goes on. 
Again, will update properly soon.
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